Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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