I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
