I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
