How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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