he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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