Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
