Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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