I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
