dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
