I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
