16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
