If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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