My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Randomize
