Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
