If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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