epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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