I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
