bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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