woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize