I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
