Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
