i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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