Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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