our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize