You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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