please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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