Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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