U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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