Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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