but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
