so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
