I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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