you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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