it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
