just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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