I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
