Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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