I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
