if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize