I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
