Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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