I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize