Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
