I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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