wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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