shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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