It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
