How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
did i just pee glitter
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
