I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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