So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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