I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Randomize
