i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Randomize
