i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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