All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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