In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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