Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
