dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize