Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
