I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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